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Say more than what is already proven fact. Go further with your ideas. Otherwise why would your point matter? Original thesis : Hoover's administration was rocked by scandal. Revised thesis : The many scandals of Hoover's administration revealed basic problems with the Republican Party's nominating process.
In this way you will tell your reader why your take on the issue matters. Original thesis : In this paper, I will discuss the relationship between fairy tales and early childhood.
Original thesis : Socialism is the best form of government for Kenya. Revised thesis : If the government takes over industry in Kenya, the industry will become more efficient. Avoid merely reporting a fact.
Start with a tentative thesis and revise as your paper develops. Is your thesis statement original? Avoid, avoid, avoid generic arguments and formula statements. They work well to get a rough draft started, but will easily bore a reader.
Do not expect to come up with a fully formulated thesis statement before you have finished writing the paper. The thesis will inevitably change as you revise and develop your ideasand that is ok!
Don't settle for three pages of just skimming the surface. The opposite of a focused, narrow, crisp thesis is a broad, sprawling, superficial thesis. Compare this original thesis (too general) with three possible revisions (more focused, each presenting a different approach to the same topic Original thesis : There are serious objections to today's horror movies.
Today's slasher movies fail to deliver the emotional catharsis that 1930s horror films did. Is your thesis statement clear? Your thesis statement is no exception to your writing: it needs to be as clear as possible.
Your Personal Statement Application Essay (psae) can be. Use concrete examples (not generalizations) from your life experience to support your thesis.